He cried for all the ducks who had died. He cried because they hadnt needed too. He cried for the destruction of his home. He cried because, even if it was rubble, he wanted to be there. He cried because theyd never achieved what theyd set out to do. He cried because they had to fight the next day, and the next, and most likely all the days after. He cried because what he had thought was possible had turned out to be the biggest challenge of his life. And he cried because he didnt want that challenge.
So he lay there, shaking under the covers. For hour after hour after hour.
***
"Wildwing?" the familiar voice reached out and pulled Wildwing out of his mind. Wildwing opened his eyes and gazed up, tears running off his cheeks. He could see the outline of the person in his room, and he knew who it was.
"What?" Wildwings voice was cracked and gravelly, and he cleared his throat painfully. "What is it?"
"I I heard you crying. I went to sleep and you were still crying, and I woke up and you still were." Nosedive sounded younger, and scared.
"Go back to bed. Its late."
"No."
"What? Nosedive, go back to bed. Thats not a request."
"No." the teenager said quietly, settling himself on the ground, leaning his back against the bunk. "I dont think I could go to bed without knowing why youre not asleep." Nosedive folded himself up, and closed his eyes. "So Ill just wait here until you tell me."
Wildwing said nothing, but listened as his brothers breathing grew slower. He gently placed his hand on the blond head, and the head drooped sideways.
"You wouldnt understand." Wildwing whispered quietly.
"Try me." came the unexpected answer.
"I thought you were asleep."
"Nope. Thought you might spill it if you thought I couldnt hear."
"So whyd you answer?"
"My neck got sore."
It was a typical answer, and Wildwing almost smiled. Almost. "You know whats wrong Dive? I dont think were ever going to get off this planet, and I dont think we can ever beat Dragaunus."
"Why do you think that?" Nosedive asked slowly.
"Looking back, do you know how many times we had the chance to kill Dragaunus, but for some reason we didnt? Youll run out of fingers."
"So? Theres always tomorrow."
"Dont you see?" Wildwing sat up, startling Nosedive. "There wont always be a tomorrow. One day were going to blow it, once and for all. We cant do it. I cant do it." Wildwing sagged back against his wall.
"We can." Nosedive insisted firmly. "One day that Gateway Generator is gonna be ours, Draggy is gonna be pushing up puck-flowers, and were all gonna be there to see it."
"Why do you believe that?" Wildwing wanted desperately to tap into whatever reserve of optimism Nosedive used.
"Ive read enough comics and seen enough cartoons to know that the goodies always beat the badies. And were definitely the goodies. Dragaunus and Co. stink too much to be the heroes." Nosedive stood up. "I believe in you Wildwing. Weve been through a lot, and we made it. So we always will." To Nosedive, it was as simple as that, and he couldnt understand why Wildwing didnt think that way. He left the room and went to bed.
Life doesnt work that way. You win some, you lose some. Its like hockey. Sometimes you win, and thats great, but just because you win sometimes doesnt mean you always will.
Oh Drake. If you really exist the way Nosedive says you do, please help me.
Wildwing visibly shook as the Mask by his bed began to glow. Suddenly there was another duck in the room. His feathers were pure black.
"Wildwing Flashblade." the duck said, another Mask on his face.
Wildwing tried to speak, but couldnt. Drake was the son of Gilkon his Jesus. What could he possibly say?
"Youre just going to have to trust me Wildwing." Drake said patiently. "You want to make good on this, dont you? Its up to you. I can help you, if you let me."
"How how what do I have to do?" Wildwings head spun dizzily.
"Give me your heart. If Im in your heart I can use you. We could do great things, Wildwing. You can always call my Father for help, and you get eternal life. Gilkon, He loves you more than anything. I died for you. I died so you could be with us. If youre sorry for all the wrong things youve done, and you ask me to take charge of your life, we could do great things. It wont always be easy, and things may not turn out the way you think they should. But Wildwing, I promise you three things. I promise my Fathers and my everlasting love, and I promise you eternal life. I promise you peace of mind."
Wildwing stared at him, eyes wide. Drake smiled gently. "You dont have to give me an answer right now. Its your choice."
"Has Nosedive ?"
"Hes one of mine. So is Tanya, Duke and Mallory. And Wildwing," Drake suddenly gave him a meaningful look. "So is your sister." Drake touched his forehead, and stepped back. "Maybe Ill see you soon." He was suddenly gone, but Wildwing could feel his presence still. He reached over and found that the Mask was warm.
Wildwing shivered uncontrollably, but found that he wasnt afraid.
"Gilkon? I I believe in you." Wildwing remembered all that Nosedive had ever told him, and his voice grew stronger. "I believe that you sent your Son Drake DuCaine to die for my sins. Id like you in my heart Father."
Wildwing felt incredibly hot for a second. He knew just knew more certainly than hed ever known anything else that he had a Father who cared. He finally had someone to call his Dad.
And what a Dad.
Drake DuCaine *had* been the Son. The Saviour. Even with the Mask, before then Wildwing had never believed that part of the stories. Matthew and Mary had believed, and the twins had, but not him. But he did now.
The tears of before totally forgotten, Wildwing revelled in his new-found peace. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you." he murmured over and over.
He switched on his com, oblivious of the time. "Nosedive, Nosedive, come in."
"Wh what? Saurians? The alarm isnt going " Wildwing could see that Nosedive was falling asleep as he spoke.
"Nosedive, I met Drake DuCaine! I got a Dad!"
"Huh? Wait a sec, still processing OH MAN!" Nosedive suddenly broke the connection. Wildwing got out of bed, deciding that he was not to sleep at all. His door slid open with a pounding, and he found himself on the floor beneath his brother.
"Oh man man man man man man man!" Nosedive was hugging Wildwing tight around the neck. "I knew youd come through! I *knew* it!"
Wildwing laughed. "Well, here I am. Guess Im gonna have to apologise to you for 15 years of rubbishing you."
"Who cares! Wait til I tell the guys!"
"You knew they were what are we?"
"Were Drakeians. We talked about it a few times. Tanya had been one before seeing the Mask, and the others believed when they saw."
"What about Grin."
Nosedive was suddenly serious. "I dont even know if he believes in Drake full stop. Im praying for him."
"Youve got a lot to teach me."
Nosedive laughed. "Now *this* is something Im not familiar with!" He got up, and headed to the door. "Sorry Wing, but I gotta get some sleep."
"Thats OK. I have someone new to talk to now."
Nosedive grinned hugely and headed off to bed. I knew youd come through Drake! Grins next, kay?